I’ve seen it many times. I’m watching a Cop Show on TV, and The Cop sees something terrible done to a child, or children. At the end of the show, everything’s wrapped up and The Cop says "Now I’m going to go home and hug my kids."
Even before I met my wife, I said to myself that I would hug my kids all the time, not just when something terrible reminded me to do it.
So now, in addition to hugs all around through the day, every night of their life (that they’ve been the same place as me) I’ve gone into their room before I hit the sack and just looked at them. Tuck them in if needs be; straighten their hair, that sort of thing. I’m making memories as fast as I can.
Also, from very early, when they go away on a trip, I look them in the eye and say "I love you, don’t forget". Now they say it to me all the time. Sophi will also just walk up to me, fling her arms around me and say "I’ll never forget you Dad!"
So hug your kids, every day, many times a day. Kids who know they’re loved young are less likely to turn into monsters in their teens.
You are so right. And the time flies by to quickly but sometimes when they are grown you can still give and get a hug!
A -freaking- men. I do the exact same thing every night.
great reminder, toph. but it’s fairly easy when they’re that age. when they get older it gets harder. they’re not around as much. they – very naturally – start the process of separating from parents, etc.
i’ve learned to hug them anyway. may not be as long or sensitive, but it’s always significant.
this is even more of an issue for a dad with a beautiful, blossoming daughter. that can be very intimidating – and it may even make your daughter uncomfortable.
just find what works for each kid – but do keep it up.
oh, and when they enter their low to mid 20’s, physical affection usually returns heartily. that’s good stuff…
I work as a live in nanny for a woman who has four kids. She has a boyfriend and often engages in what I think is inappropriate affection in front of the kids- like laying on top of him for hours on end on the sofa (while I take care of the kids). They don’t get any affection from her and two weeks ago she told me and the other nannies that the kids shouldn’t be hugged anymore. No more hugging. The kids are 6-10. She’s a really mean woman so I wouldn’t want to get caught crossing her (because she loves to fire people) but sometimes when I make eye contact with one of the kid’s sad faces, I quickly give him or her a hug.